Intuitive Eating Series: Principle 4

A quick recap on making peace with food/the last week in general.

For me, a relationship with food is not ACTUALLY just a relationship with food. You know that saying "when you date someone you're dating their entire friend group too?" It's kinda like that. Sure, food is the MAIN factor in this relationship, just as a significant other would be. However, if one of you significant other's FRIEND's disapproves, it can cause problems. With food, if any other "wellness" factors are off, it can become a little rocky.

For me, these "friends" include exercise, sleep, social life, and stress. If I don't exercise how I typically do, if I get less sleep, if I don't see/speak with my friends, or if my stress levels are high, I struggle to maintain a normal eating style.

This particular week, I happened to strain my hip flexor. While this is nothing major, I had to listen to my body and give it a much needed break from exercise. I went from working out basically every day to taking an ENTIRE week off.

Despite this, I did my best to stay mindful and continue to intuitively eat. While it felt a little harder than normal, I did a pretty good job!

Food is necessary for all basic bodily functions. Just because you can't work out does NOT mean you should ever deprive yourself! I continued to listen to my body, and even tried to incorporate some "forbidden" foods or ways of eating that I've avoided in the past. This included having a bit of a bigger lunch one day, eating homemade donuts on the 4th of July, and even having a malt AND fries with dinner. I enjoyed it until I felt complete fullness, and then went about my day as normal. I didn't BINGE or restrict. Just ate what I wanted, when I wanted, with unconditional permission!

Now, onto Principle 4: Challenge the Food Police.

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You may be wondering...what exactly are the food police?

We live in a diet culture-ridden society. Food is often grouped into one of two groups: good or bad. Funny thing is, your BODY and mind don't really know the difference. Yes, some food may be more nutrient dense than others, but just because you eat a stereotypical "bad" food does not mean your body immediately stores it as fat as a punishment. In fact, it will break down a cake the same exact way it would break down a carrot. There are no good or bad foods, even if you've taught yourself to live in that mindset.

Logically speaking, all foods are just made up of a certain amount of carbs, protein, and fat. No food is good or bad for being low in one of these nutrients or higher in another. ALL of these macros are necessary for your body to survive! Higher ratios of one of these nutrients are simply an immediate source of energy that your body may need for efficiency.

Diets will tell you what foods are "allowed." Sometimes parents will question you for wanting a little extra ice cream after dinner. Friends may refuse to eat a bagel because it's "too many carbs." Truth be told, there is a time and a place for ALL foods, and YOU get to decide what that time and place is.

Remember how I said intuitive eating was learning to eat like a kid? Kids eat what they want when they're hungry, and they stop when they're full. Very rarely will you hear a young child turn down cake because it's "bad for them," or eat extra carrots because they're "good for them." They just eat what they're body is telling them to!

It's interesting to see how quickly society changes these "laws of food" that we've developed. In the 90's, fat was the equivalent of the devil. Low fat processed products FILLED the shelves at the grocery stores. Now, we've decided as a society to accept fat, and have shifted away from processed foods all together. Carbs are seen as a godsend one day and a weight bomb the next. This just goes to show how unreliable these food rules can be.

If you've ever dieted (or been around anyone who has dieted in the past), you probably have some "rules" created by your own personal food police that float around in your head. This principle allows you to CHALLENGE all of these rules, and continue that "fine tuning" into listening to your body.

To make it easier to understand, the creator's of Intuitive Eating put these different rules and voices in your head into different categories. Let's break down the "food thoughts" that can be both helpful and hurtful to your intuitive eating journey.

The NEGATIVE voices:

The Food Police-These guys are probably the strongest out of the negative voices inside your head. It takes ALL the food rules and ALL distorted thoughts around eating, and tells you whether what, how much, or when you're eating is "good" or "bad." The more "diet talk" you're around, the stronger it can get. Some examples of food police talk include no eating after 8pm, under-eating to make up for a larger meal, under-eating to PREPARE for a larger meal, only eating carbs at breakfast, sticking to raw vegetables as snacks, forever forbidding dessert...the list can be endless.

The Nutrition Informant-This is all the nutrition info you've heard and what you choose to believe. Whether true or complete fabrication by diet culture, you've probably heard a LOT of different views on different food groups, diets, and eating habits. You decide what you want to believe and the nutrition informant makes it loud in your head. This could include the concept of carbs being bad for you, fats making you fat, how many calories you should be eating/counting your calories (based off of an online calculator), avoiding all processed foods, etc.

This voice can be hard to get rid of, as it can be both good and bad at times. The Nutrition Informant follows the rules the food police set in place. However, if you can get RID of the food police, the Nutrition Informant can become helpful.

AN EXAMPLE: Let's say you're at the grocery store picking out peanut butter. The Nutrition Informant may help you decide to go with an all-natural peanut butter, as it may be lower in sugar and higher in protein than the "Skippy" version. This is totally okay! You don't feel deprived and you still get tasty nut butter that benefits your health.

HOWEVER, if the food police were still in play, it may have told you that peanut butter was WAY too high in calories and to get peanut butter POWDER instead. The only reason peanut butter is higher in calories is because it is full of healthy fats that help keep you satiated...NO reason to deprive yourself.

The Diet Rebel-Funny enough, this is a negative voice that is actually the OPPOSITE of the other two. This is when you say "SCREW diet culture," but in a harmful way.

Let's say someone tells you you can afford to lose a few pounds. OR let's say you go to eat a cookie and some says "mmm are you sure about that?" First off, RUDE. BECAUSE of the diet rebel voice inside your head, your response may be to eat 12 cookies as a result of their comment. You're rebelling against what they said because you want to feel powerful, and you might at first! But more often than not, you end up feeling worse than before, because really you only wanted 2 cookies...not 12.

This "voice" can be changed to BENEFIT you, rather than to harm you. Instead of eating the 12 cookies to act out against that person's comment...speak up against them. DEFEND yourself! They are not you, they are not in your body, and their standards are NOT yours! While I give you full permission to get in their face and show them what's up, if you want to seem...more composed, you could say something like "I understand what you're saying. However, I really want a cookie! It's delicious, satisfying, and one will do me no harm. I'm happy in my body...one cookie is truly no big deal." Kill em' with kindness.

Now, these "negative voices" may seem overwhelming, but not to worry! There's positive ones, too.

The POSITIVE voices:

The Food Anthropologist-This guy is the most judgment-free voice you will EVER meet. It observes and collects data WITHOUT any positive or negative connotation. When you're trying to break free from diet culture or a restrict-binge cycle, there are often times where you may slip back into old habits. Maybe you skipped breakfast one morning, but ate 10 cookies to compensate that night. The food anthropologist makes note of that, but with NO guilt or shame! By taking note with no judgment, you may be able to catch familiar patterns and combat them before you get swept up in the cycle again. For example, if you skipped breakfast and feel the need to binge at night, you can make another NOURISHING meal and then be sure to eat a more satiating breakfast the following day to get back on track.

The Nurturer-think of this as a kind, motherly voice. It's gentle and...well, nurturing! It reminds you that you're doing your best, that it's okay to eat a little extra food some days, that everything will be okay, etc. It reminds you that eating food is normal and that eating ALL foods is what helps you be on track to be the best version of yourself.

The Intuitive Eater-This one just kinda makes sense. Obviously, in the concept of intuitive eating, the intuitive eater plays a significant part in your journey. It's a combination of the other two voices, listening to the bodies natural signals WITHOUT giving in to any of the NEGATIVE voices. For example, it may make note that your stomach is hungry, works with the food anthropologist to figure out what your body wants to eat, and then works with the nurturer to allow yourself to eat that food. It acknowledges ALL forms of hunger and honors them.

That was a lot. So now that you know about the voices, what should you do with them?

The goal is to REJECT and SILENCE all negative voices. The first step to this?

Positive. Self. Talk.

Psychology proves that if you ALLOW yourself to eat whatever you want, regardless of what the food police or nutrition informant want, your body will acknowledge that respect and eat until satisfied.

For example, let's say your body is CRAVING sugar. The food police and nutrition informant may tell you that sugar is bad for you and should be avoided at all costs. If you were to NEGATIVELY self talk, you would feel so distraught and upset if you gave into that craving. HOWEVER, if you talk POSITIVELY and respect your body, you allow yourself to eat that sugary food until satisfied. No guilt, shame, or food police associated.

This is obviously easier said than done, especially if you've let diet culture control your eating habits for an extended amount of time. Like everything else in life, practice makes perfect. Over time, it'll get easier to silence those negative voices!

The next time you feel yourself getting negative, tune in to the food anthropologist and the nurturer. Observe how certain foods make you feel, and tell yourself that no matter WHAT you eat, you will be okay!

It's also important to turn off "All or Nothing" thinking. You HAVE to allow yourself to eat one cookie. Eat a FEW chips. If you say "if I eat one cookie I'll eat them all," you're manifesting failure.

Instead of thinking all or nothing, try living in what's known as the "gray area." I know, it sounds ominous. But the SECOND you restrict yourself, the second your body is going to jump back in to old habits. No human is perfect. It is NORMAL to have a few cookies, a few scoops of ice cream, a bag of chips. ALLOW yourself to have these foods without feeling like you've blown your "diet."

So what's the GOAL this week? How do I put all of this in action?

Practice practice practice.

Identify what voices are prominent in your head, and when certain voices speak louder than others.

Turn the food police OFF. For me, even though I don't count calories and haven't in YEARS, it's hard for me not to add up the calories of meals in my head. I can combat this by acknowledging that counting calories leaves LOTS of room for error, and that if I'm eating intuitively, I don't have to worry about calories at all! My body will tell me what I do and don't need. STOP thinking about nutrition for now. Think about what your body is REALLY craving, and honor that. OBSERVE how foods make you feel and if you have any patterns of eating. If you do, think about why that may be and if it's helping you in your intuitive eating journey. STAND UP for yourself if anyone questions your eating choices. Most importantly, remind yourself everything you are feeling is valid. You're doing your best. All foods are allowed, no matter what time of day or how much your body is craving.

Journal if you find it helpful! Write down when voices are prominent and how you can turn the negative voices off and allow the positive ones to kick in. Make a note of what you eat in a non-judgmental way, as well as how you feel throughout the week.

This one was a DOOZY. You're a champ if you stuck it out this long.

Next week is Principle 5: Feel your Fullness. A simple concept with the utmost importance!