Intuitive Eating Series: Principle 5

First off, I want to say a big THANK YOU to all of you who reached out praising this series. I'm just sharing what I'm learning and SO glad it's resonating with some of you!

Last week was quite a big Principle, and while I'm moving on to a new topic this week, I just wanted to once again remind everyone that those "Food Police" thoughts don't go away overnight! If you're still experiencing Nutrition Guilt, or trying to silence all of those voices in your head, it's TOTALLY normal. This takes time. Be kind to yourself in the process.

Now, onto Principle 5: Feel Your Fullness.

When you were growing up, you may have been taught to "Clean your plate." You weren't allowed to leave the table until you ate everything on your plate for dinner. This was probably done with the BEST of intentions, as your parents wanted to make sure you were eating enough, or perhaps getting enough nutrients in your diet.

This idea of "cleaning your plate" comes up later on in life quite often. You've been taught that you are done eating when you are done with the food in front of you. It becomes easy to tune out your hunger and fullness cues...why would you listen to those when your signal for being full is simply finishing all the food??

ESPECIALLY if you are eating mindlessly (i.e. in front of the TV), you become out of touch with your body. If you have a family sized bag of chips to snack on and a "Clean Your Plate" mentality to pair with it, you may finish that bag without a second thought as to whether you were really hungry for it.(By NO means am I saying eating a family sized bag of chips is a BAD thing...sometimes you're genuinely hungry and eating til your satisfied might just mean the whole bag! However, more often than not, finishing a family sized bag when you WEREN'T hungry for it can lead to guilt or shame...two things no one should associate with food).

This mentality can also come up in a sense with diet culture. You may have a limit on how much food you can eat, or what types of food you can eat. Some even require very specific measurements/portions of food. When you are given a limited portion or limited range of foods, of COURSE you are going to eat them all. You're probably hungry, and your body is DESPERATE for all of those nutrients that you're depriving it of.

HOWEVER. With intuitive eating, you let go of all of that restriction that a diet places on you. The name of the game is entirely listening to your body. This is breaking out of ALL "plate" mentalities, whether that be cleaning your plate, leaving half the meal on your plate, or anything in between.

Intuitive eating involves NO rules around food. You can eat cookies or salads as though they are one in the same. You learn to trust your body, and your body trusts you right back. Once you forego the idea that you can only eat certain foods, or only get to eat certain foods on special occasions, your body stops eating in that "deprived, desperate" state.

Let's say you're eating a big bowl of pasta. If you're still in the diet mentality, you'd probably go one of two ways: either you eat only HALF of the plate to keep within the guidelines of the diet, or you're eating the pasta as a "cheat meal." If that's the case, you eat this pasta knowing this is the last time you'll get to have it for a WHILE, and you eat the whole big bowl, feeling stuffed and perhaps slightly guilty afterwards.

Now, if you're eating this big bowl of pasta whilst following the principles of intuitive eating, it becomes a much more peaceful experience. You're eating this pasta because you wanted to. No other explanation needed. You don't feel DEPRIVED of pasta, and you know that you can have pasta at any time because there are NO rules around food. You eat it mindfully, and you eat it until you are full and satisfied (about a number 7 on the Hunger-Fullness Scale). You stop eating, regardless of how much/little pasta that was, and you feel completely content. You know that if you're craving the same pasta again tomorrow, you can totally have it again tomorrow. Heck, if you're hungry again later that night, you can have more of that pasta in just a few hours!

Sounds like a pretty romantic way to eat a bowl of pasta, right?

This is the basic concept of feeling your fullness. However, when I first read about this principle, it made me feel a little uneasy. With most foods, I acknowledge that you can have it again at any time. But what about those Christmas cookies you only make once a year? What about that fancy slice of chocolate cake that you can only get from that ONE specific restaurant while on vacation??

There's a reason Intuitive Eating has 10 principles, NOT 10 rules. It's fluid. It's not a strict guideline you have to follow. There are times when food is TRULY special and rare, and that should be TREASURED. You are COMPLETELY permitted to have as MUCH or as LITTLE of those foods (or ANY foods) as you want. The key to THESE situations, however, is to make sure they are completely guilt-free. Don't overthink it, and don't overcompensate by eating less beforehand or the next day, or by over-exercising. Just. Enjoy. And then listen to your body! If you're less hungry the next day, don't FORCE yourself to eat, but if your appetite is the same, respect that and move-on as normal.

So. The concept makes sense. You eat when you're hungry, and you stop when you are full and satisfied. But if you've dieted or controlled your eating in a different way in the past, it can be hard to know what fullness...is. When you become out of touch with your body, the signals aren't as easy to acknowledge (just as it may be with hunger in the beginning).

Just like hunger, fullness feels different to everyone. For starters, you obviously shouldn't feel hungry at all. You should feel satisfied, but not SO full that it's uncomfortable. You shouldn't feel like you want any more food. It's that fine line between being completely satisfied, but no stomach pains, food coma, bursting at the seams feelings paired with it.

It takes time to feel fullness, just as it takes time to feel hunger. For some people, fullness can take 20-30 minutes to reach during a meal. For others, it may only take 5-10. Fullness also may feel completely different each meal, based on how hungry you were beforehand as well as what foods you are consuming.

A very important note is also that YOUR fullness should not be compared with ANYONE else's. DO NOT look at someone else's plate or how much they're eating to dictate when YOU should be finished with YOUR meal. You don't know whether they've eaten more or less than you beforehand, or whether they're more or less hungry than you to begin with. They also may be more or less active than you, and ultimately have different needs than you! Focus on YOUR fullness cues and YOUR fullness cues alone.

Just like everything else, this takes lots of practice. In fact, this is HARDER for me to practice than any other Principle!! That's perfectly okay, it just means it's where I have to be the most mindful.

So how do you put all of this into action: check in with yourself before, during, and at the end of the meal. WITHOUT judgment, determine how hungry you are before your meal. WHILE you're eating, every few bites or so, just take a quick pause. Acknowledge how the food tastes and feels to you; is it something you love/wanted?? Acknowledge how satiating the food is: do you feel yourself slowly getting less hungry, perhaps slowly on track to fullness? Once you've thought about it, continue eating. When you feel as though you're full and satisfied, check in with yourself one last time. Are you satisfied? Do you feel full? Are you still hungry? Rate your fullness if you feel so inclined. If you feel completely satisfied and full, stop! If you still feel hungry, eat more.

Some days, you're going to eat your whole plate because you are GENUINELY hungry. Some days, you'll get seconds or thirds of foods. Some days, you may only eat part of your plate. You may even eat half of one meal one day, and twice as much of the SAME meal another day. ALL of that is okay. It all depends on your hunger and fullness levels. Fully respect them, and the more you trust your body, the more it'll trust you back. Your signals will get stronger, too!

If you find it really hard to listen to your signals, there's a few things you can do to make this whole process easier.

1. LIMIT your distractions: some days, you're going to eat in front of the TV, and that's TOTALLY fine. However, it is EASIEST to acknowledge your body's feelings by really tuning in and being mindful without anything else going on. Sometimes this makes your food taste more flavorful, as you are COMPLETELY focused on it.

2. When you feel full and satisfied, TRULY stop eating. It's easy to acknowledge when you feel full, but then still allow that "clean your plate" mentality to take over. Don't beat yourself up if that happens; like I said, practice makes perfect! However, if you want to support your body's cues to stop, perhaps push your plate away from you a little, place a napkin over it, or do some sort of ACTION to reinforce the idea of stopping.

3. Don't ever feel pressured to eat just because someone wants you to. Think of that Grandma who wants to fill you to the BRIM with excessive amounts of food. You NEVER have to eat for the sake of being nice!! It sounds crazy, but you're ALLOWED to say "I'm not hungry right now, but maybe later!! Thank you!"

4. Respect all fluctuations. If your body feels hungry again just an hour after eating a full meal, that is OKAY. You HAVE to honor that and eat something, even if it's just a snack. Your body has to TOTALLY trust that you will feed it whenever it is hungry. Some days are just hungry days, and some days you may not have much of an appetite at all. Respect both of these!

Be extra gentle with yourself when practicing this Principle. If you have history with disordered eating, or if diet culture has really effected your self esteem, you by NO means have to practice this yet. Your body first has to trust you enough that you are going to feed it EVERY time it is hungry. Once that becomes more set in stone, the fullness signals will come easier.

Fullness should NOT feel like deprivation, and it's easy to get those two ideas misconstrued. You may think you SHOULD stop, even though your body wants you to continue. Remove all feelings of restriction and truly listen to your body.

Most days, I FINISH my plate, even though I'm listening to my body. I was just genuinely hungry for it. You can REMOVE the "clean your plate" mentality and still clean you plate. I want that to be clear!

Try it out, be gentle, go slow, and acknowledge all feelings and emotions. Then check back in w/ me next week for Principle 6: Discover the Satisfaction Factor.